Day at the Lake and some Insights. June 16, 2008

Today we went to the lake and celebrated yet another commercial holiday.. Father’s Day, not that there’s anything wrong with that, all people in the family should be commemorated, but I just say it to point out the very money making nature of the holiday.. like most of the other holidays. But the cool thing is that we celebrated it in nature, with family, and with out the material aspect (that doesn’t always happen though).

Safiyah.. my girl, we are so proud of you because you were looking at the ducks in the lake and you pointed and said “Duck” with such clear pronunciation. You know a great many words now. I think you have about 20-30 words in your vocabulary now.. if not more. The ones you actually say are about 15 of them. But you are recognizing concepts and words daily.

Recent words you say:

duck, hu-hu-hu (as in.. Allah Hu), owl, pooh (as in winnie the pooh), this, that, papoo (as in Kiss), bye, baba, mama, du-du (as in milk), please, thank you, dog, cherry (aunti’s dog), gato (cat in spanish),

Other than these words, you know many songs, which I think i’ve already mentioned. Boy I am one of those bragging moms aren’t i. My kid is so smart!!! Intelligent!!! Because you ARE!!! Okay I’ll stop.

So one of the cool things I wanted to tell you about is this stuff they’ve been talking about on the Oprah show. Its not new stuff.. but once its on Oprah people start talking about these things.. it means that a concept has reached the mainstream once its been on Oprah. As for the rest of us, we’ve been knowing about this stuff for ever. So they mentioned this book called “The Secret” about how to use the laws of attraction to get what you want out of life. They had some awesome “self help” writers and motivational speakers come and talk about their stories.

So it reminded me of some of the stuff I was really exploring when I was an undergrad in college. It all started around 1998/2000 ish. So I read some cool books like “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho, and “The Celestine Prophesy” by James Redfield, and then there is one I read a bit later by one of my sufi teachers, Dr. Robert Frager, its called “Heart, Self & Soul: The Sufi Psychology of Growth, Balance, and Harmony”.

So the point of these and many many other books is this:

Often what you are looking for in life is already there. Perspective is everything. The old cliche of looking at the glass half full or half empty.. and so on and so forth. Why is this important? Because you will come to a point in life where you think you should feel lonely, depressed, or you are feeling EMPTY. It is not something that you have to live with. No person, or thing will ever be able to fill that empty void. It means there is something you are missing in your spiritual life… in the way you perceive life. Every time you think you are having the worst day-worst life, think of someone who is fighting for their life with a terminal disease, or someone who is living in a war torn country, or a woman who has no independence and never will, or someone who has lost their family in a natural disaster. Not that your problems aren’t important, they are, and they need to be addressed at some point, but they shouldn’t control you or your mood. You can easily step out of it, as if you are simply getting up out of a chair. In essence, you are in control of your mind, your thoughts, and your feelings.

You can be happy in life. You can have what you want in life. You just have to pray for it, visualize it, speak positive, and positive things will come your way. One of the things they mentioned was to make yourself a vision board. Basically it can be a magnet board, a cork board, or a poster board with pictures, words, (magazine cut outs) of everything you want.. everything that inspires you to be the best you and to use your God given talents in the best way possible. Soon, the things on your board will come your way. Keep looking at it every day, and it will become a reality. When you really want something, and you do everything in your power to attain it, the universe and everything in it will bend to make that thing a reality for you. One of our most powerful prayers in Islam goes like this “If this is good for me in this life than bring it close to me and bring me close to it, but if this thing is not good for me in this life than pull it away from me and pull me away from it. The thing is to trust in the divine energy that is Allah. Trust that this divinity that has created you and the entire universe from nothing, knows what is in your best interest, and that when you ask for something you should LET IT GO.. meaning .. you don’t know what is good for you or not.. because none of us has foresight.. none of us can tell the future, none of us can see the unseen.. so leave it up to God to decide if you should have that thing, and trust that if it is in your destiny than you will receive it, if it is not.. than there is probably a good reason for that.

This conversation always leads to the whole “Why do bad things happen to good people” debate. So here’s the deal. Life is a test. Bad things happen to good people.. but more times than not, Good things happen to good people. One thing that is not the most politically correct is KARMA. The reason i say it isn’t PC is because I am talking about families, countries, cultures, and groups of people who have to suffer for something because people that they are linked to in one of these ways screwed it up for them. We can look at it from a micro level before applying it to the macro.. like an entire country. So on the micro level lets look at ourselves. Each of us has several issues to deal with in life, and majority of them come from something our parents or grandparents did (right or wrong, it affects you in a negative way).. almost everyone can say that. However, we can sit there and use blame, and go nuts trying to fix it.. or we can LET IT GO, look to the future and decide what we want the second half of our lives to look like.

Another thing that goes along with this is the fact that negative things of all shapes and sizes can and usually are good for us. It may be a blessing in disguise. Its something negative for us at the moment, but it may teach us something that is valuable. It might be a lesser evil than something worse that could have happened to us. It just may mean that if it doesn’t kill us its meant to make us stronger. Use all of these negative and difficult experiences as opportunities to grow and learn about life.. especially how to deal with things. We can’t act like spoiled babies anytime something happens to us.. we have to have hard shells like turtles and resist these things.. use it as a lesson. (I know, I know, easier said than done.. but it can be done, if you really want to be happy).

So anyway, I won’t preach any longer.. I just wanted to share some deeper thoughts this time around. So other than the Eckhart Tolle book which should be my next read, please leave some book recommendations in the comments section so that my little Safiyah has some inspiring reading to do when she is old enough to read this blog. Merci Beaucoup!

Inspiration June 9, 2008

I just got through watching a truly inspiring film called “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly”. Its about a well known and successful French man who becomes paralyzed from head to toe. Its his life from that moment on, from his own perspective. I won’t tell you just how they got it from his perspective, as he is paralyzed, because you have to see it to find out.

Lately you have been sort of obsessed with having us play this YouTube video for you. You don’t watch it as much as you listen to it. Its Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan doing “Allah Hu” .. your favorite song, and your favorite Zikr all in one. You do your very own dervish dance to it and you ask us to play it for you by saying “Taa?” and pointing to the computer and not letting up until we play exactly that. No other version, no other song, no other video will do. Just that.

You are about 16 months now and you are saying the word “Bookba” which in Safiyah language means Book. You also have been singing the tune of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” with the word Bookba. You have been doing a lot more walking. I no longer carry you out to the car. You walk with me, except for the stairs, down which I  carry you. Outside of our  condo is a courtyard with grass, pathways, and a round water fountain lined with what looks like Turkish style tiles. I like the fact that our building, although in the middle of our quite boring town, is a Mediterranean style building, and actually has these impressive tiles in different parts of it. Its not the most amazing looking building, but for this nameless town, its not bad.

I have started practicing Capoeira again. Other than Yoga, it is the sport/martial art/exercize that I enjoy more than anything else. I want to get my body back to feeling more flexible, balanced, and strong. After having a child, a woman’s body goes through many changes, and it takes a while for it to be worked back up to how it was once upon a time. (Not in any way intended to blame you my dear, I am happy to have given birth to you because you are the most beautiful thing in my life. Nothing makes me happier than you).

More to come…

A Bedtime Story for FiFi May 30, 2008

Safiyah. Since this blog is to you my little girl, I thought i’d put a little bedtime story on it for today. I always loved to hear stories, and just in case I don’t have one to tell you when you really want to hear one, here it is, preserved in time for you on your very own blog. Its one that my dad emailed to me.

When I lived in NY between 2001 and 2003 I would sometimes call my dad and ask him to tell me a story while I lay in bed. He would sometimes tell me stories of the Prophets. They are the best stories. I hope you enjoy this one, and I hope you are able to take something from it.

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.
One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.
His bed was next to the room’s only window.
The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end.
They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.
Every afternoon,  when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.
The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.
Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.
Although the other man could not hear the band, he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Days, weeks and months passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.
She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.
As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real
world outside.
He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.
It faced a blank wall.
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.
The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.
She said, ‘Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.’

More than one Safiyah! May 20, 2008

I somehow came upon a blog last night titled “The Amazing Adventures of Safiyah”. This blog is written by a sister that, like me, talks about the Safiyah in her life. Now I didn’t JUST enjoy it because we are both mothers of Safiyah, but ALSO because I felt an emotional bond with this mother, and I connected to what I read. Motherhood is a very sensitive, emotional, joyous, and …well.. indescribable institution. Thus.. reading someone’s deep down, honest reflections on it is really cool. I could really relate to the mixed feelings described in her post about her Safiyah starting preschool..  when your baby girl is growing up and blossoming into herself.. but you feel a slight tinge of loss.. like you are losing your little baby. I know that these feelings will never end, as both of our Safiyahs will keep growing (Insha’allah) and blossoming into dignified ladies.. with all of our prayers cushioning their every fall.

So one thought that gives me a little peace of mind is reminding myself of just how attached I still am to my own mama. I’m still a mama’s girl. Maybe these things are hereditary. There is no real way to cut that cord i suppose.. the teenage years will do a number on the connection, yes i know.. they will come (for a long time) and go.. and hopefully we’ll survive them with enough left in us to take the lessons and look back and laugh at some of the crazy moments. Okay that is enough teenager talk.. Safiyah is still under 2 years old so I can still enjoy the babyness that is my favorite part of living right now. I just put her to bed and I could just stay there and stare at her sleeping all night because her tiny little self with her red cheeks and sweaty head of wispy hair is the cutest thing i’ll ever know.

So I want to thank Miss Kameelah for sharing with us, with moi. So Miss Safiyah, when you grow up and read this blog which is dedicated to future-you, maybe you can look up the other Safiyah and be friends.

London Calling May 20, 2008

So its been 3 months since I last updated you on the younger you. (as I am planning this blog for the future-you to read about your infancy).. now that we have that confusing stuff out of the way, i shall dive into your life as I know it.

As the title suggests.. we did take a trip to London to see family and to attend your Khala Jaan’s wedding.. (my cousin Maha). We had fun. The flight there was evening so you did well. We got there and stayed in a hotel the weekend of the wedding, then moved into my Mamoojan’s house for the remainder of the trip. What we did:

Thurs: Arrive.
Fri: Attend Mehndi (where you danced your little butt off.. you were the belle of the ball and every single stranger was asking about you .. “Who’s that baby?” “She can dance!”
Sat: Make fruit/flower wedding baskets at Maha’s house to give to Groom’s family. Help get Bride’s family’s stuff ready for the big day.
Sun: Get ready all afternoon and go to 1 London Wall.. in Central .. for the beautiful and elegant wedding. A lovely hosting job by Merryl Wyn Davies.. an amazing Ghazal Tabla band on the balcony, and a handsome Bride and Groom. Delicious food too!
Mon: Get our luggage together and into Zaid’s car. Walk back to Mamoojan’s house with you in the stroller.. (I lost your Papa along the way.. which was an ordeal in itself.. but it didn’t stop us from stopping off to get some Donner Kebab and Halal Burgers once we reunited).
Tues-Fri: Try to get you on a non-jet-lag schedule! My first night of sleep since Amie was around to help! Brent Cross (the local mall in edgeware area).. get all the sleeveless and long sleeved onesies as well as cotton tights for you for the upcoming seasons in America. Its all about Marks and Spencers! Visit relatives, and I think we had a day at Camden Town, and a day checking out the UCL SOAS bookshop, the British Museum, Forbidden Planet (graphic novel heaven), and Covent Garden. Yummy day. We ate at The Tortoise and the Hare.. We had a fun time that day with your uncle Zen as he talked Philosophy to us. Poor uncle Zed had to go back to work this day.. but he was your play buddy in the evenings. I was also reading an early copy of Mamoojan’s latest book Balti Britain.. which I didn’t finish but he promised to mail me a copy when the real ones come in. No matter how much i begged and pleaded he wouldn’t let me take it.

The following weekend we went to Cardiff in Wales to attend the Valima. We met UncleZ’s family and friends, as well as an old family friend Gale who made it out. Merryl was also there, as she lives in Wales. Uncle Laig’s family also made it out, which was lovely.

Back from Wales.. we spent the final week visiting remainder of the relatives and friends. Also, did a walking tour (Zed as our tourguide) around the sights.. Buckingham Palace, Westminster Abbey, St. James Park (the famous pictures of your babyness running through the grass with us.. holding a ribena bottle, feeding the duckies, etc..).. and then met up Zen at Trafalgar Square… then we had a lovely panini lunch and gourmet coffees at a local Cafe before heading home… that night we went to the Rza (Wutang Clan) concert with the newly married couple. Fun.

The rest of the days were also filled with walking to the tube station and wandering around the enticing city of London, as well as catching up with the old family.. what more could you want in a trip? You enjoyed it all.. including the rainstorms which we were dreading as we didn’t have a rainguard for your lightweight travel stroller.

The trip back was a disaster.. but i guess i have to pay somewhere for having such a great, eventful two weeks. I’ll tell you about it someday . just remind me with these key words that should spark up some memories .. (middle-seats, allergies upon entrance to plane, nasal passages swollen, baby wide awake entire 10 hour flight, mommy constantly entertaining, mommy booted to floor from where mommy entertains child sitting on seat, child wanting to run through isles screaming and putting finger in sleeping-passengers ears, there’s more but i think that should do it). It’s all good though.. I still love you. Thats a mama for ya.

15 Month Baby’s Habits May 19, 2008

So this is what you are up to lately:

So one cool thing is that you have an ear for music. Not surprising as your father produces music and your mother has always been involved in music in some way or another. As a matter of face your parents met because we had both been working on stuff for the same music label. Remarkable Current. So at this point in your life you recognize many songs. In particular there are four songs which you are able to not only recognize, but sing to us.

1. Allahu (your zikr lullaby that you’d been hearing since birth).
2. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (your favorite part is “Like a Diamond in the Sky”.
3. “Where is Adam” otherwise known as Ferrajhakka.. if your french that is-
4. Winnie the Pooh.. starting with the slow part “Down in the 100 acre wood .. where Christopher Robin plays… etc, etc,

In addition to this, you have been saying random terms and phrases such as:

1. Mama, Dada, Baba, Taaa
2. Where are you Guys (or so it sounds like that)
3. There she is (which is what we say to her when she hides or during Taa (peek-a-boo)
4. Papoo (meaning- kiss)

You also will do “Veiheetas” on demand. It means “old-lady” in Spanish and refers to a scrunched up face you make with your nose squashed while you make sniff sniff sounds with your nose. We love when you do that one.

You can walk, run, and pick up big things. You can eat anything and everything! You can definitely dance. You hold and hug Sumaya. You like older kids and you play with them, and give them hugs and kisses. You can pick up really tiny things off the floor and put it in your mouth.. similar to a vacuum cleaner!

Plus you are still nursing so you make that clear in public by grabbing my shirt and pulling when you please. Naughty gyal!

You love to get scarves and clothing and any fabric, throw it over your head or around your neck, and walk around dragging it behind you like a queen with a robe on. Most of the time you cover your entire face with my scarves and walk around the house like a ghost.

You love to write and draw but we can’t give you the pen for too long cuz you will take it everywhere and draw on your own face as well as anything else you find.

You love to share with your tiny little friends.

(other than Adam and Sumaya) Your friends are:

Ibrahim, Samarrah, Sumaya, Talha, Sophia and Mimi, Leyla, Aasia, Madiha, Fatima, Madeena, Salma, Shawni, Siddiq, Omar, and there are many more that you don’t see as much. On your trip to London your buddy was Abdus Samad and Sufyaan.

You are very sensitive, loving, caring, emotional, smart, creative, organized, logical, and more. Your Great Uncle Shuja in London (father of Aunti Ayesha).. he plays in a string quartet and is very into his botanical garden.. a very lovely man.. he noticed the things in your personality.. for instance when he gave you a toy, you first put the toy you had in your hand back in to toy box, then you gently got the doll from him, put it over your shoulder, and tapped its back to nurture it. Insha’allah one day you will be a nurturing woman and maybe even a mother and possibly even a grand mother! weird thought, but could be true.. we are all descendents of people we have no idea about!

Other than that, you are just a cool cat with an amazingly warm and charismatic personality. Everyone who meets you falls in love with you.

Happy First Birthday Baby February 26, 2008

Happy Birthday Darlin. You just turned one years old. We celebrated your birthday two weekends in a row. We had a birthday party for you at Amie and Baba’s house where all the family attended. We had a Vegan Chocolate Cake (for your egg allergy) with Fruit on top. You ate all the fruit, but not the cake part. You love fruit, so thats why I picked that one. The family gave you lovely gifts including a singing nursery rhymes book, a dora the explorer bike, clothing, shoes, a coat, and more. And then last weekend at our house we had dinner and birthday party for you here. Again we gave you lots of fruit for your dessert. The entire Hernandez family was here including your Uncle Tonio from Mexico who is visiting and said “I am in love” the moment he layed eyes on you. Mama and Papa gave you a little baby doll for your birthday since you have many other great educational and fun toys. We thought maybe you’d like a little one that looks just like you but way tinier to nurture. So you have been putting the baby over your tiny shoulder and patting it to sleep. You are learning a lot at this stage. Understanding what we are saying, but not exactly talking. You sing your zikr during the day, but especially at night when you are ready for Papa to put you to sleep. I am still nursing you mostly from 8pm all night and up till noon the next day. You are usually with one of your Grandparents during the weekdays from around 12 to 7 when I go to work. Life as a working mother is busy and challenging, but rewarding. My time with you is my favorite time in the day. At work, I am able to do something to contribute to society, the community, and to our family. What I am learning at work is especially important to me because it is what I will use to educate you. I am learning different techniques of teaching people how to learn, how to read, how to comprehend, and I plan to use all of these strategies with you so that you will benefit from something that will make a world of a difference in your life. I teach children one on one for an hour per child for about 5 hours a day. It is called the Lindamood-Bell Learning Process. Apart from this I am still working on the documentary film which should be done next year Insha’allah. There is a meeting this week for it, and I am looking forward to it because I have not been able to put too much time into it lately. Its hard juggling work, family and more. I need an extra day in the weekend. On another note, the Primary elections have been going on. For the Republicans the front runner is John McCain and for the Democrats the front runners are Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. I am currently reading Barack Obama’s book, The Audacity of Hope. I read his memoir also a year back. Also, I am listening to the CD version of Hillary’s “Living History” in my car during my commute. My vote thus far is for Obama because I feel like he is a real person with a conscious, a new brain (which we need!!), and he is not tainted by the Politics of being in politics as of yet, so i hope! But we’ll see what happens. Either way, the George W. Bush days have lasted long enough! Goodbye. Okay speaking of Goodbyes, it is Fajr. I’m off to bed.

Mamoojan’s Blog January 7, 2008

I just got through reading the first post of a blog that your Great Uncle has just started. Just like you have a few mamoojans, I have mine, and he is the eldest.. so known to me as barre mamoojan (big uncle), he is known to the rest of the world as Ziauddin Sardar, cultural critic, writer and broadcaster.

So the blog is through The Guardian.. where he has contributed much of his writing and ideas. His work is amazing and inspiring, so when you are about 14 years old I think you may be ready to begin reading his works. So keep a note to self: The year 2022 is the year you should probably start some intensive studies and reading. I think that age is good, but who knows you may start much earlier as your track record has proved you to be quite an intelligent little one.

Anyway- the blog is about the Qur’an. The first post is called From Mother to Madrassa. Reading the first portion made me picture my Mamoojan as a young boy sitting on Amma (your great grandma)’s lap as she taught him to read the Qur’an. Beyond that he went into the importance of interpreting the Qur’an based on the time and place.. it is hard for me to put into words just how deeply important this concept is.. but as you grow up you will figure it out. The failure to actively understand and interpret the Qur’an, and to blindly accept age old interpretations and understandings as absolute and binding, will take the universality out of Islam.. and that is Islam’s most valued characteristic.

Here it is:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/religion/Story/0,,2235797,00.html

Or you can find it on the “Comment is Free” Blog-site.

I hope that link works for you over a decade from now when you will be reading these blogs. Who knows what will happen between now and then. Good luck with it.

Also.. since we are on the topic of Mamoojan. I want you to read this book of his.. its my favorite:

Desperately Seeking Paradise by ZIauddin Sardar (the humor in it will keep you reading).

I also enjoyed the book:

“Why do People Hate America” by Ziauddin Sardar.. which is very informative and also full of fun anecdotes some of which i got to hear him speak on live as he happened to be on his book tour in New York when I was going to Graduate school there. Here is one that I remember. It was a rainy day when he was in New York. I walked up from my East River apartment to the St. Marks Church-in-the-Bowery.. I am not sure but I think that was the location of this event. Mamoojan spoke on his book “Why do People Hate America” there. It didn’t even reach the bookshelves in most of California, but New York has a little more edge. He was funny, I remember. I was laughing in my pew.

He talked about globalization mainly. A funny story. He was in some remote part of Indonesia, I think it was, and he wanted to find a place and a people that were as untouched as possible. So he had heard about this tribe that was living in a place that was only accessable by forest, then by canoe, and several more strenuous obstacles. So he made the arduous trek there with a guide. Upon his arrival he was greeted warmly and invited into their unique hand made huts. He took mental notes as he spent time getting to know the customs of the people. After joining them for a meal, they invited him to take part in some amazing nightly ritual that they did. He was curious to know what this would be, as they had been referring to it and bringing it up throughout the meeting.

Finally, the time had come. They took him to another room and instead of unveiling some ancient mystery they drew the sheet off a television and pressed play on a video of Arnold Shwartzeneggar’s blockbuster hit, The Terminator. All to say, that no matter where he went, there was no escaping the Governator (as we now call him).. or anything else to do with popular culture exported from the U.S. By the time you read this Safiyah, there won’t even be a chance to escape this stuff. But I have been planning to ban TV and home school you.. so we’ll see!

Happy New Year January 6, 2008

So my darling it is the new year and you have been in this world about 10.5 months. Your latest is that you just got your first tooth!!!!! Mubarak! You are standing for 5 seconds and then you plop onto your well padded diaper butt. You are crawling 60 mph. You are understanding us when we play peek-a-boo, say bye, say “nai” (no) or “uh oh”.. so you are a smart one.

I have big dreams for you Safiyah. You can do so much with your life. I often think that I want you to have the things that I missed when I was growing up.. and I don’t mean that in terms of material things because a lack of material things builds character I believe. What I want is for you to have access and resources that were unavailable to me. I want you to know that you have access to any information or experience that I, your father and everyone from our families has to offer you, as well as all of our friends. So use it! If you need to know about colleges/universities, if you want to know about how to deal with a life situation, if you need any kind of help, if you want to find a shortcut to something, if you have life goals and want to know how to achieve them.. whatever it is, there are many people who can talk to you based on their own life experiences.

One think I might advise you is to ALWAYS SEEK ADVICE for all things, but USE YOUR OWN SENSE OF JUDGEMENT to determine what action you want to take based on your evaluation of the situation and any advice given to you. Sometimes people give you advice based on their own experiences.. which is fine because it is all they can offer you.. and that may help you out a lot.. OR it may not work for you. Figure it out!

Happy New Year January 1, 2008

Safiyah you are now 10 months old. It is about an hour and a half into the new year and you are sleeping in bed with your sweet little body curled up. Your father and I were just talking about how cute you are and how we just can not believe what an angel you are. The last month you enjoyed your first Eid-ul-Adha, and your first Christmas. You got many many presents for both occasions from family and friends. These are gifts that you probably won’t remember. Mostly toys and clothes. Here are some things I want you to do when your older.. if you want.

1. Watch the television series LOST. It will I’m sure be old news by the time you are older, but we love it and think its amazing, so we think you should probably watch it too. Some other shows that you might enjoy but will also be obsolete when you are older.. TAXI, COLUMBO, and one that i loved when i was a teenager MY SO CALLED LIFE. By all this I don’t mean to tell you to watch a whole bunch of TV, because that is not good at all. But if you are gonna watch something .. instead of watching the trash on TV, get a dvd of one of these shows, and enjoy!

2. You should probably visit Japan because I did.. not to say that you should relive my life and do everything I did.. ofcourse I want you to live your own life and enjoy your own experiences. One of my friends, Debbie, was very articulate in explaining to me that you are not an extension of me (well you are in a way, but u know what i mean) and that your life will come with its own purpose, experiences, and you will be different. Its true because you already have a totally different childhood than I did, because you and I have different parents.. even when Grammy and Grandpa watch you, they are not the people they were 28 years ago when I was a baby, so they are communicating to you differently and think of you differently. Grandparents are usually different with their grandkids than they were with their own kids.

3. Another thing that you should probably do is read alot. There is so much information and knowledge out there. Be very careful though, not to fill your head with useless information. Reading things that will benefit you is important. That is so broad but Insha’allah you will be able to figure it out- that is if I raise you right and you are an intellectual, independent, and conscious woman, you will figure it out.

4. One thing I don’t want you to do is to fill your life with Soap Opera type Drama. There are a lot of people out there that create drama. Please don’t be one of them or associate with people like this. You can create the life you want for yourself by being very careful about who you include in your immediate circle of friends. If there is drama in your life, as i have learned, you are either spending time with the wrong people, or creating it for yourself. You have to be practical, smart, and strong. Don’t run after stuff that is bad for you, and you know what is bad for you. Also, don’t expect others to right your situations, or do things for you. Please don’t blame others for your misfortunes. You are responsible for yoursef and the quicker you realize that, the quicker you will be a happy and peaceful person. You can control your happiness. The way you percieve something will change the way you feel about that thing. Be careful what you watch, what you read, what type of music you listen to, and who you spend your time with. Always think.. Will this benefit me? And regard the answer. Fill your life with what you truly admire and you will become that. Be friends with people you strive to be like. People that have clean hearts, dignity, and are righteous, are the ones you should look to for friendship. Remember you don’t need that many friends. And remember your best friend is YOU.

5. Always send thank you cards to people who do things for you or give you gifts. Appreciation is very important. It puts the beauty into GIVING. Always give back in some way.. I mean now to the larger community also. Charity will cleanse your soul. When you feel down, give charity. Don’t ever slack off on your Zakat or Sadaqa. Don’t give so much that you bust your bank account, only give what you can afford to give, but do give when you can. Its also very important to have financial stability for yourself. This stability will allow you to give the way you want to in the future. As for your job. You can start small, but please, do something you enjoy. Don’t waste your life away hating what you are doing, or worse off, working just for the money. Money is very important in the world we live in, but there are many ways to make it. Choose something that you will be proud of. (on the other hand, if you are in great need, you should work at whatever job will pay the bills, as long as it doesn’t conflict with your morals, values, and dignity).

6. Do Yoga. A healthy body is critical for a healthy mind, and both are critical for a healthy soul.